SAB Workshop Memories – A Dreamscape of a Life in Ballet

Written by: Lindy Mesmer, SAB Alumna

The hilarious and exhilarating part about being a high schooler, no matter where or when you were one, is the bigness of every emotion. The massive joy, terror, and excitement that accompanies each moment is universal to all, but when combined with the dreamscape of SAB and the experience of Workshop, it reaches a level I’m sure is unmatched.

As I reflect on my own SAB Workshop Performances experiences, most of what comes to mind is those big emotions and the tiny details of life that accompanied them. What now seems to me so mundane as a professional — getting to wear whatever you want for rehearsal, attending costume fittings, and working on a ballet outside of variations class — was thrilling and glamorous to me as a 16-year-old student. Getting a glimpse into each teacher’s personal memories of a ballet, their specific tips and tricks for makeup, how they got through especially tough stamina moments (“Just sing the whole ballet in your mind!” one said), felt like special trade secrets to each one of us. And the tiny moments backstage, more than the performance, are what I remember best — someone coming over to adjust your hairpiece, pin back a little wispy, or help with your makeup. Throughout the Workshop experience, we began to see how much all these little things meant to us, and in seeing that we also came face to face with the real beauty of a life in ballet.

As someone who joined the school as a 14 year-old, I did not initially participate in Workshop. As a result, it took on even greater meaning for me, and my anticipation for it grew with each year.

Participating in Workshop feels very much like stepping into something greater than yourself. You’re aware of the long tradition that follows you, and the legends and lore of Workshops past are well known among the students. Each time the program for the year was announced, a handful of us would flock (some in groups, others alone) to the New York Library for the Performing Arts across the street and comb through reference videos and photos for each ballet. (I struggled for years to gain access to a video of Darci Kistler’s graduation, but alas!) In the lead-up to casting reveals, our dinner table and hallway conversations were pepped with debates around dream casts and who might be best suited to a role. Even teachers would throw in little Easter egg steps from the ballets throughout class, and pianists would insert motifs from the scores in pointe and adagio classes.

Once rehearsals began, the doors to each studio would quickly fill up as students sought to get a peek into the process. Barely a sliver of space would be left by the end of rehearsals, and yet we would still crane our necks in for just a glimpse. The joy and aliveness of our teachers rubbed off on us, and our youthfulness and excitement on them. To see how precious a ballet was to each teacher as they shared insights received directly from Balanchine, was so special. Our teachers’ artistic lives began to converge with ours. In learning and performing the steps of a ballet they held dear, we began to understand their philosophies as artists better.

For my first proper workshop in 2019, I performed in Concerto Barocco and Bourée Fantasque (I graduated in 2020, so didn’t end up having a graduation Workshop). My only wish that year was to be in Concerto Barocco, so I was very pleased with the results! It was a difficult and ambitious ballet for all of us, but incredibly rewarding and exciting. By the end of each run, most of us were cramping like we never had before and our leos and tights were a significant shade or two darker.

Suki Schorer staged Concerto Barocco, and she ran a tight ship. We did many run-throughs leading up to the performance. It was very fulfilling on a physical and artistic level. The actual performance of Barocco was beautiful and moving. Getting to dance to a live orchestra was a thrill to all of us, and being a part of the corps gave us a special sense of camaraderie and pride. We really felt like warriors out there, and our awareness and connection with each other was sharpened. I remember looking towards the girl across from me near the end of the 3rd movement and seeing this bright happy face and two dark mascara lines of sweat running beneath her eyes. I’m sure I looked the same. All of our makeup was melted off by the end.

Bourée Fantasque was a more comic ballet, and full of intricate patterns, witty rhythm, and fans (at least for us 1st movement girls). Staged by Susan Pilarre, the ballet has a strong sense of French whimsy, and she used many analogies and images to convey each step’s flavor to us. Images of the originals, Tanquil Le Clerq and Jerome Robbins, were passed around and imprinted in our minds. The original dancers’ unique brand of humor and wit was latent in every step. I think I had a little too much fun onstage, admittedly — I broke my prop fan each show from kicking it too hard and I perhaps went out with too much energy, but it was all in good fun, and I deeply enjoyed the energetic and bouncy music.

Each SAB Workshop Performance is special in its own way, and marks an important moment in each student’s career. I vividly remember many performances and rehearsals from that time, and their beauty has not diminished as I’ve experienced more of the professional world. To all those participating this year—good luck and merde! It’s an experience you will never forget.